I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
