Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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