Whod you bang
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
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