I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
