You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
