Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Randomize
