Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Randomize