So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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