i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
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