I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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