Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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