will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
