So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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