u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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