some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
Girls should come with a carfax report
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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