mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
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