gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
