Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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