cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Randomize
