I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
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