Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I faked an abortion last night.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
