So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
