fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Dick very happy bro
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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