Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
