The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Sext me about skeletons
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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