i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
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