you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
