Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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