I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
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