Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
