We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
