smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
