yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
