so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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