when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Randomize
