Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
worst night to have a conscience
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
