Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
