Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Randomize
