I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
