She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
