Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
