btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
