i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Randomize
