why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
