But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I need to calm my uterus...
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
