I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
