It's just like the Real World with babies
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
