carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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