No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Randomize
