i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
being pregnant is like rehab
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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