all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Someone came in the potted fern
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Randomize
