You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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