We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
