So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
